Learn To Set Boundaries In Your Personal Relationships

If you ask yourself if you can set boundaries in your personal relationship, the answer is probably no. Why? It may be because you see relationships as a connection you have to give everything to. This exposes you to harm yourself or put you in real danger.

Setting boundaries for personal relationships will not get in the way of healthy relationships. Instead, it will help them grow. This is because when you do not set boundaries, you open the door to everyone. This includes manipulators, poisonous humans and emotional vampires. These can make you bitter and do a lot of damage.

Why is it so difficult to set boundaries in your personal relationships?

The reason why we often do not set boundaries in our personal relationships is complicated. It stems from different fears, insecurities and even because of different faiths you may have. For example, if you have low self-esteem, you think you are not as important as everyone else. Because of this, you will find yourself in humiliation, insult and even manipulation.

If you do not set boundaries, it is often because you think you do not deserve them.

You may also have an unfounded fear of arguing with other people.  What you fear here is that they will dislike it and stop taking care of you, or that the conflict will undermine your security.

Despite all this, having low self-esteem is not the biggest problem . It’s not even that you do not want to argue or quarrel with others. The problem is that you do not know how to set boundaries in your personal relationships.

You are not taught to be confident. You are also not trained to communicate or defend your own needs. Because of this, you have to learn it yourself. But how?

• Start by saying “no” to anything you do not want to do or do not have time for. It does not matter what others say, whether they get angry, or even how bad it can make you look. Make what you want a priority.
• Use “I” to say what you feel and want. For example: “I’m tired of going to this meeting.” Do not use excuses. Be ready.

• Do not say “sorry” every time you say what you want. For example, you can change “Sorry, but I want to be home” to “I want to be home”.
• Do not justify yourself when giving an opinion or decision. You do not have to do this even if the other person is upset. You need to be confident in yourself.

Learn to be yourself

To put the sweater in your personal relationship, it is sometimes necessary to learn to be yourself again. This means that you trust yourself, that you stop trying to make others happy all the time, and that you do not continue to seek approval from others.

This is very difficult. After all, as a child, you are taught to make people around you happy. But small steps like saying “no” and stopping someone from making you change your mind to do what they want can help you.

When do you need to set boundaries in your personal relationships? The answer is when you feel uncomfortable. The moment when something takes energy from you, makes you feel bad, or demands all your attention, this is when you need to start setting boundaries.

This happens with all kinds of relationships. It happens with family, friends and with your partner. Sometimes, when you give a meter, they take a kilometer. Because of this, it is very important that you  express yourself as you are.

This includes refusing to do something when you do not want to, expressing yourself without feeling guilty or ashamed of what others may think, and stopping explaining yourself all the time.

You must learn to take care of your own well-being. This is not dependent on others, but on yourself. By doing this, you begin to see that you can change. You will see how to learn to be more confident, so that you avoid letting others manipulate you, and how to express what you want without feeling guilty or afraid of how others will react.

Do you want to start setting boundaries in your personal relationships today?