Ten Signs That You Are With A Narcissist

Maybe there are some signs in your relationship that make you feel uncomfortable. Still, you have not been able to put your finger on exactly what is bothering you. If your partner talks too much about himself and his problems and projects an idealized image of himself, you may be with a narcissist. In this article we will share some of the warning signs and what you should do.

Narcissistic personality disorder

According to psychologist Stephen Johnson, a narcissist is someone who has “buried his true expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.”

The traditional image of the narcissist who is in love with himself is not the image that corresponds to the real narcissist. On the contrary, the narcissist is not in love with himself. Instead , they are in love with the idealized image they built of themselves. In fact, they are deeply hurt, have low self-esteem and hide under their idealized self instead of facing reality.

It is not easy to relate to a narcissist. In fact, the need to feel superior can even cause them to look down on and underestimate others.

Below we will share some of the typical traits of narcissists and what you can do with them… especially if you are with one.

Signs that you are with a narcissist

1. Their conversations feel like endless monologues

A conversation with a narcissist can be tiring, a frustrating experience. This is because a narcissist in reality does not “talk”, but maintains an endless and boring monologue. They never have dialogues, as there is no exchange of ideas and opinions.

Even if you try to speak, they will not let you participate. They will just interrupt you with words like “well”, “therefore” or “but”.  This is because a narcissist often thinks they know everything. If you manage to express your opinions, they will ignore you or correct you. For this reason, it is normal for you to feel frustrated after trying to talk to a narcissist.

2. All conversations are about them

The topic of conversation always ends up going back to them. Even in conversations with several people, a narcissist will always try to turn the conversation back on himself or an object – or person – that they glorify or desire. For this reason, narcissists are people who constantly interrupt and take the floor without respecting others.

Besides, they do not listen to others, they just ignore them and monopolize every gathering. If your partner is a narcissist, it is therefore logical for you to feel looked down upon and underestimated.

3. They like to break the rules

A narcissist needs to feel different and superior. For that reason, it is common for narcissists to like breaking the rules. For example, this may include not respecting traffic rules, taking office equipment, etc.

These actions make them feel that they are above the law, the rules and society. They feel superior and think they can get away with anything.

4. You are with a narcissist if your partner does not respect the boundaries

A narcissist only cares about his own needs and does not respect the needs of others.

Since they feel superior, you will always be below them. Therefore, narcissists do not respect the partner’s needs either. They themselves are their only priority.

Have you ever lent them money they never returned? Do they undermine your feelings or your achievements? Do they discourage you from having healthy alone time for yourself?

If so, maybe you’re with a narcissist.

5. If you are with a narcissist, they project a false image of themselves

This is the basic characteristic of a narcissist. For example, they may feel that they have to spend a lot of time on themselves because they have to impress others. In addition, they complement themselves in front of others and say things like “See how good this looks on me” or “I am so special”.

They believe they must make others believe that they are worthy of admiration. In reality, however, they are deeply insecure people with low self-esteem.

6. A narcissist believes that they must be the center of your world

Not only are your needs less important, but a narcissist expects you to meet their needs before your own. A narcissist believes that they themselves are the most important partner in a relationship, and that is why they will demand that you take them into account at all times, regardless of your needs and obligations.

7. They were charming at the first meeting

To begin with, the image they project of themselves is a charming lifestyle. However, their true selves will eventually come out.

They were charming when they tried to win you over. You thought they were charismatic, convincing, charming and thoughtful. However, as the relationship developed and the interest in winning you over disappeared, something felt wrong.

The narcissist must be the best at everything. Thus, they also need to perfect. When they get bored playing, things change.

8. If you are with a narcissist, they make it seem like they are a hero or a heroine

Since they feel superior, they build an idealized image of themselves. They often present themselves as a hero or heroine, someone who is extremely outstanding and superior to others. For that reason, they can really believe that you are nothing without them.

9. Some narcissists paint a picture of themselves as victims

A common way for people with narcissistic personality disorder to attract attention is to make themselves victims. Thus, they make you forget your own needs and focus on them. This is their goal from the very beginning.

However, this can also happen at any time. A narcissist can make you feel guilty about how you treat them if you do not treat them the way they want to.

10. They are manipulative

For narcissists, other people are nothing more than a means to meet their needs. For example, they may choose a partner who is physically beautiful or wealthy just to show them off to others, or to ensure that their needs are met.

What should you do if you are with a narcissist?

If you want things to change, you have to be more confident. This is why you should:

• Recognize that they need help. If you want to stay in the relationship, you have to understand that narcissists are basically insecure people with low self-esteem.
• Encourage them to seek therapy. A narcissistic personality disorder is a condition that can seriously damage a person’s quality of life, not to mention those around them. Good psychological therapy is the best way to help them repair the wounds that led to the disorder in the first place, to treat it or prevent it from causing further problems.
• Get therapy. In addition to encouraging them to get therapy, if this is a relationship you are committed to, you must also seek help. In therapy, you can learn how to better take care of yourself in your relationship.

You should also:

• Show them that their behavior is bothering you. You need to make them understand the things that irritate you, such as the fact that you can not have a conversation with them, the fact that they always prioritize their own needs over yours, etc. Tell them that you are also important and have your own needs and claim.
• Be positive. Even when you explain to them that you are important too, be careful not to point out the fact that their behavior hurts you. Letting them know that you are angry can inadvertently confirm their superiority. Instead, explain these things calmly, and set appropriate boundaries.
• Stay focused. Even if narcissists try to get you to see that their goals are more important, remember that you also have your own. Do not let yourself be carried away, and do not forget that you also have your own personality, needs, goals and dreams.

Do you recognize any of these characters ? If you do, you should act now! Whether you end the relationship because it makes you feel bad or decides to persevere, do not forget that you are as important as your partner.